Reading this book was kind of an emotional roller coaster. There were points in the book where I was like 'huh, this isn't really that bad' and moments where I was like 'trees were killed to print this out and it wasn't worth it.' The later thought came in around the Epilogue, where the childishness of the characters was at its highest. But that's the epilogue, so we'll get to that later.

In my original review of Twilight (https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3645054615) I said that if Bella were to take a personality test she would fail. Well, I was wrong. If she were to take a personality quiz she would answer 'Edward' to every question.

What's your favorite color? Edward's eyes. What's your favorite thing to do? Anything that Edward does. What are your hobbies? Edward.

So you can imagine, now that Edward is gone, leaving Bella in the dust, she doesn't have much to herself. Now, she would fail a personality test.

Now, if you've somehow gone your entire reading career without reading this book, you're probably like: I thought Bella and Edward were like the ultimate ship, why would he ever leave her? Well, let me tell you, dear friend, it's entirely Edward's fault.

This book opens up with Bella's birthday. (of course, she's stressing over it because she'll be 'older' than Edward, even though he's like 108, and we can't have that) What do birthday's warrant? A birthday party, of course! Even though Bella has stated multiple times that she doesn't want one, the Cullens throw her a big banger. But, uh oh, while opening the presents she cuts herself on the wrapping paper and gets a paper cut.

First of all, let's talk about the fact that this paper cut has to be huge. Bella describes it as a single drop of blood coming out of her finger. My paper cuts have never actually bled. They just turn red. Blood never comes out for me. The only reason I even put bandaids on my paper cuts is because it stings like a mother ******. But maybe this is me just being picky.

Anyway, Jasper goes ballistic and tries to attack Bella. Instead of throwing Jasper back, Edward yeets Bella into a table and she cuts her arm on glass, making the situation about one thousand times worse.

This causes Edward to go into his brooding mood™ and he decides that the only way for Bella to be safe is for him to leave. Honestly, good on you, doing something that you should have done in the first place.

The only problem is this sends Bella into a spiraling state of depression, and doesn’t even seem human anymore.

So, can we talk about how unrealistic the people around Bella were? Anybody who heard the ‘fell down two flights of stairs and out a window’ story would have believed Edward beat her. If I was Bella’s friend, I would have assumed Edward did something unspeakable to Bella, left her in the woods, and she was in this state of morbid depression because of the trauma that Edward caused her. But, no, nobody thinks about this.

Well, because her dad threatens to send her to Florida (which honestly, is a nightmare within itself), Bella goes out one night with Jessica, where she discovers that adrenaline makes her see Edward.

(uh, we’re not going to talk about how weird that is? alrighty, then)

This discovery causes her to seek out Jacob Black, an old childhood friend, with two broken down motorcycles, asking him to repair them so she can use them for her adrenaline seeking motives.

This indicates the only good aspect of this book: Jacob and Bella’s friendship.

I can actually see why people shipped Bella and Jacob when this book first came out, because they have actual chemistry. Not the ‘oh, look how in love they are’ fake chemistry that Stephenie Meyer shoves on us with Edward and Bella. They joke with each other, Jacob doesn’t have the underlying urge to kill Bella every moment, and, the most major plus, he doesn’t watch her while she sleeps. The fact that I’m excited about a friendship that meets the bare minimum requirements for being a healthy relationship really should say something about this series.

Of course, Jacob’s character gets assassinated in Eclipse, but the quick downfall of his character actually starts in the epilogue of this book.

In the epilogue, Jacob rats to Charlie about the whole motorcycle thing. You see, the thing is, Charlie made Bella promise to never ride a motorcycle because he had seen so many accidents involving them. This is just so childish. Which, I get he is a teenager, but really?

Not only that, Bella pouts about Jacob no longer talking to her and Billy being put off with her like they owe her anything. They’re the ones protecting her, who practically took her in when she was at her lowest point. She knows how they feel about the vampires, but she still expects to have the best of both worlds. It’s just really selfish and it ****** me off.

I don’t think it’s a secret that the way the Quileute tribe was portrayed was a bit racist. Alright, it’s kinda a lot racist. Native American people being portrayed as savages who could snap and harm anybody at any minute while the white people are portrayed as the embodiment of control? That’s dodgy. Not only that, the Quileutes are a real tribe and Stepheine Meyer used them for profit. Another thing that bothered me about this portrayal, when describing Leah, pretty much the only Native American girl in the book, she’s described as ‘exotic,’ which just doesn’t sit right with me. Not only that, she has no character besides being mean to Bella and being jealous of Emily and Sam. Which goes back to Meyer’s bad characterization of women.

Overall, this book drags. The writing is stale. There are no memorable characters besides Edward, Jacob, and Bella, and not for good reasons. Not only that, there’s embedded racism in the story line. So, there you go.

As I stated before, Charlie deserves infinite good dad points for putting up with the absolute bull **** his daughter drags in, because heaven knows I wouldn’t have.

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