Robin Gaby Fisher
"From the detective who found The Golden State Killer, a memoir of investigating America's toughest cold cases and the rewards--and toll--of a life solving crime. I order another bourbon, neat. This is the drink that will flip the switch. I don't even know how I got here, to this place, to this point. Something is happening to me lately. I'm drinking too much. My sheets are soaking wet when I wake up from nightmares of decaying corpses. I order another drink and swig it, trying to forget about the latest case I can't shake. Crime-solving for me is more complex than the challenge of the hunt, or the process of piecing together a scientific puzzle. The thought of good people suffering drives me, for better or worse, to the point of obsession. People always ask how I am able to detach from the horrors of my work. Part of it is an innate capacity to compartmentalize; the rest is experience and exposure, and I've had plenty of both. But I had always taken pride in the fact that I can keep my feelings locked up to get the job done. It's only been recently that it feels like all that suppressed darkness is beginning to seep out. When I look back at my long career, there is a lot I am proud of. I have caught some of the most notorious killers of the twenty-first century and brought justice and closure for their victims and families. I want to tell you about a lifetime solving these cold cases, from Laci Peterson to Jaycee Dugard to the Pittsburgh homicides to, yes, my twenty-year-long hunt for the Golden State Killer. But a deeper question eats at me as I ask myself, at what cost? I have sacrificed relationships, joy-even fatherhood-because the pursuit of evil always came first. Did I make the right choice? It's something I grapple with every day. Yet as I stand in the spot where a young girl took her last breath, as I look into the eyes of her family, I know that, for me, there has never been a choice. "I don't know if I can solve your case," I whisper. "But I promise I will do my best." It is a promise I know I can keep"--
Headline Publishing Group
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"Sort of a memoir of a cold case investigator but weaves in the decades long struggle to find the Golden State Killer. This is not only one of the best true crime I’ve read, but just books in general. Really takes you into the minds of people who do this as a living and what they go through. Reminds me a military memoir in a lot of ways. Just no way to normalize being around death."
"I saw the title of this book and I was already interested. It sounded like something that was right up my alley. But I was worried that it would get too bogged down by details and would be boring because of it. But I had no reason to worry because this book was entertaining throughout the entire novel. Holes does a great job of making the book technical but engaging the entire time. I was baited like a fish from the start. This book taught me a lot about what the actual life of a person who solves cold cases looks like. It's definitely not very glamorous and I appreciated that Holes really put himself out there. He didn't take out the hard parts of his life, he showed the reader right into his soul, and some of the things he was struggling with made just as much of an impact on me as all of the crime-solving did. The end is thrilling too, I was surprised that something so enthralling happened in real life, or maybe it was the way Holes wrote about it. But I was pumping my fist with happiness when they finally caught GSK. I listened to the audiobook which was read by Holes himself, and think he did a wonderful job. This book deserves more reads, I'll be recommending it to people I know for sure."
"This was incredible to read. Difficult at some parts, but fascinating overall, this is the memoir of cold case investigator Paul Holes. It was interesting to read about his involvement with so many cases (Jaycee Dugard, Laci Peterson, and finding the Golden State Killer). Learning about the mindset needed to work these kinds of cases was interesting, and I would probably have preferred a deeper dive into some of the cases and experiences he shared with us. "
"@aliwang1990 so good! Highly recommend "
"Taking a break from crime and reading some history. Reading the new book by Winston Churchills daughter!"