Gender Queer: A Memoir

"It’s funny how closely this book paralleled my own experiences- it’s probably the closest thing I’ve ever come to a mirror of myself in media. I too wished for breast cancer, walked around topless as a kid because I saw men doing it, attached to Tamora Pierce’s Alanna as a child and Alison Bechdel’s Fun Home as an older teen, have debated the great ‘am I bisexual or asexual or just traumatized or all three’ puzzle, decided early I never wanted children, and had similar poorly-functional short-term relationships when I was younger. I also encountered radfem reasonings when I came out, hung out with theater kids because my conservative school wouldn’t allow a GSA, feel intensely embarrassed about sharing my personal work, am involved irregularly in fandoms and regularly have nightmares about restrooms. But on the other hand, some of our experiences couldn’t be further from each other. I have never had trouble during a pap smear. My parents were not nearly so ‘live and let live’ as Maia’s parents, and I had to shoulder a lot more physical, emotional, financial, and sexual trauma than em. I love spivak pronouns, but they don’t fit me. Eye-catching clothing gives me intense dysphoria. I am actually repulsed by nearly all of the megafandoms mentioned in this book. I medically transitioned after doubting myself intensely. I believe it’s possible to have happy, longlasting, and mostly nonsexual intimate relationships, because I’ve successfully had one for six years. It solidifies my opinion that it’s impossible to find that exact mirror and pointless to search for it, because we are all so different, trans OR cis. I hope Maia gets a chance to have top and bottom surgery sometime soon and feel more comfortable in eir body."

"Very relatable. Eir art style is very pretty and MANY of eir life events i also went through or experienced something similar (as a nonbinary person). To be honest I read it because it's on the banned book list in some states but I'm so glad I took the time to find it!"

"I’m a voracious reader, and I’ve binged my way through increasing amounts of LGBTQIA2S+ books over the past few years. But as much as I consumed queer content, I rarely found rep I truly identified with. This was a deeply emotional read for me. Maia’s journey might have been a bit different from mine, but eir representation of what it might feel like, what it might look like being nonbinary is so important for those of us out here who don’t yet have the words to express who we are"

"One of the most banned books in the country, banned in 15 states, yet Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe is one of the most honest books I have read in ages. The author reveals to us er experiences from childhood to age 25 in trying to find gender teminology that accurately describes how e feels in er mind and about er body. Therein lies the struggle to reconcile mind and body. The emotional turmoil Kobabe experiences is raw and full of angst. At least, Kobabe had a supportive family during er discovery years. The author does describe female puberty in detail in this graphic novel, as well as briefly exploring dating and sexual relationships, which may be too much for some parents to handle. But, I am fairly sure that many teens and young adults are questioning their gender, their sexuality, and everything that pertains to their minds and bodies and interactions with their peers and their place in society. Having books like this available in public libraries helps people learn about themselves and others. We are all inherently different, each of us individuals learning about ourselves and seeking acceptance for who we truly are.<br/> (Quick read: about 3 to 4 hours.)"

"Excellent "

"I feel seen."

"3.5 stars<br/><br/>It was good learning about the experience that i am not as familiar with. I did read through some reviews and there are some people including some trans people with the way that it is written. Some people believed some information was explained better in other books.<br/><br/>The story is about em growing up but the story is more adult. There are lots topics of sex and some topics that are TMI. I’m sure there are a lot of school libraries banning this book for being queer but for the schools that are fine with queer topics the sexual topics kinda makes it so that it is not appropriate for children. I am only saying this because in the beginning the author talks about how this book gets ban in school libraries. Some schools are going to ban it because it is not school appropriate. <br/><br/>Some topics related to sex is good because it is already taboo subject and going through puberty is a difficult time for kids. Other topics are too much information. <br/><br/>There are some information i did learn about and some i wish e could have explained more. This includes e/em pronounds and how to use them and why e didn’t feel like a boy when e fantasize the whole story of having a *****.<br/><br/>Em didn’t use Autoandrophilia correctly and never went back and said they misunderstood it. Even if it was used correctly it does not give the person that is trying to understand people who are nonbinary. For people that don’t know Autoandrophilia is a person assigned female at birth who is sexually aroused at the thought of becoming male. So you are pretty much telling the person that being trans is a kink not that you were given the wrong sex at birth. <br/><br/>The people that label this as **** are wrong. They don’t show that many nude scenes. Some are just of buts. When characters are naked it is not sexualized."

"I’ve never understood how or why I felt the way I do until I read this book, now I think I’m starting to understand who and I want to be"

"Not much I could say about this book that wouldn't be extremely personal, but I can at least say I'm very glad Maia Kobabe created it because I needed to see experiences similar to mine. Excellent memoir of a gender queer experience."

"This is SUCH an Incredibly powerful memoir!!!!!!!!! Especially as a fellow nonbinary, discovering other people truly <i>do</i> go through these feelings, feelings I've had but thought were abnormal even though I'm around/talk to a Lot of nonbinary and trans folk, seeing these feelings laid out in color on the page is so heartening, I currently do Not have the words to describe it!!!!!!!!!!!"